WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU START WORKING ON YOURSELF
- Sophie Shaw
- Apr 4
- 3 min read
Have you ever noticed that when you start making progress working on your 'stuff', you often get more 'stuff' to deal with? It's almost as if the Universe is saying "Oh yeah? Try this!"
It's not divine punishment - I'm not even sure it's a test, though it can sometimes feel like it.
I think it's a totally natural part of the healing journey - an annoying one, certainly, but to be expected.
My clients often experience the ups and downs of working out their issues. After all, healing is rarely linear - it's usually a rollercoaster of emotions.
It goes a bit like this:
To begin with:
At first, there's an initial high. You've started working on your stuff; you've had a place to download and be heard and understood.
This in itself is a huge relief and release, even though it can be a bit challenging. Some people feel better and stop here - which I believe is a mistake.
Next:
You dig a little deeper - and stirring the stagnant waters can sometimes lead to a bit of a dip, mentally and emotionally.
It can be hard to look at your issues, and to start owning your part in the way you feel.
You may not be ready. You may want to quit here, and go back to a time when your issues were a bit easier to ignore.
Then:
If you stick with it, you make real headway. You have insights and breakthroughs. You begin not only to understand, but also to have real compassion for everything you feel.
This is the bit where you feel balance and equilibrium for the first time in ages. Peace of mind is yours, and it's absolutely fucking great.
People often quit here, feeling that they're done. But...
After a while:
The Universe sends you a 'test', and somehow you find yourself feeling and responding in that old way again.
"What the hell?" you say to yourself. "I've worked on this, how come it's still affecting me?"
You've been used to feeling good most of the time. so you've developed a real intolerance to negative emotions. You find it harder to understand why you should be feeling bad, when you've 'dealt with your stuff'.
This is when many folks come back to the process, often feeling quite disheartened. BUT...
Eventually:
There's no need - this is all a normal and natural part of the process. And when you stick with it, you develop a wonderful sense of compassion for your ups and downs.
You don't expect perfection, or permanent, glassy-eyed happiness. You recognise that all these so-called 'positive' and 'negative' emotions are just a part of being alive.
You get better at using the tools you've learned along the way. Each time you hit a road bump, you recover more quickly. You start to respond thoughtfully, instead of just reacting in the moment.
Eventually - believe it or not - you even start to welcome difficulties, because you immediately recognise them for what they are - opportunities for growth and learning.
And you quit quitting. You realise that healing is a lifelong journey. You come to a beautiful place of acceptance within yourself.
This is true peace of mind - the kind that lasts.
So - who's up for a journey?
Big love,
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